Fon Master Ion

[Ion didn't think that flailing would get him put back down, did it? What it does get him is held closer to Van's chest, so Van doesn't do something like drop him.]

Stop that. [Why is he even talking to it it is a kitten]

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[Oh, now he's being held close against Van's manchest. NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS OKAY.]

[But hey, he stops flailing almost as soon as Van tells him too. At the very least, this kitten obedient.]

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[Hey, it's better than being dropped.

Once the flailing stops, Van holds the kitten up to get a better look at it. It's kind of...] Tear would like you. ...If she remembered me.

[Surely that wasn't a hint of melancholy; not from Commandant Lifewrecker, Destroyer of Worlds and Young Boys. Surely not.]

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[Hey, even Destroyers of Worlds have feelings! If he's saying something like that, the he must have run into her while she was still affected by the Malnosso's experiments. And so soon after arriving... that must've hurt.]

[Yes, he's feeling pity for Van. This is Ion, after all. Somewhere beneath all the crazy, there's still a human in there! ...er, in theory, at least.]

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[Ion would even forgive the person who- oh. Right.

Van looks around, trying to spot a potential owner of this tiny kitten, but there doesn't seem to be anyone. Then he looks at Ion again. What is he going to do with you, little fuzzball?

Surely he's not considering taking you home or anything...]

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[At this point, Ion has no idea that he'll still be spontaneously changing back and forth, so he figures he'd have ample time to escape unharmed if something like that were to happen. Perhaps that's why he isn't trying to struggle his way free just yet.]

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[Welp. Nothing for it, looks like he's taking the kitten home for a bit. Which means Ion gets the privilege of being held up against chest again as he walks away from House 1.

As a kitten, he's so small Van really only needs one hand to hold him like this. After a few steps, the other hand occupies itself with absentmindedly skritching him behind the ears.]

I almost wonder if you're a young monster. I've never heard of a green-

[Uh oh.]

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[O-O-P-S. Van said the magic word.]

[There's a poof of smoke and suddenly the kitten Van was holding is no more. Instead, he is now holding one (1) mortified Fon Master tightly against his chest ~~KEYWORDS APPLY~~.]

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[The worst part of this is definitely that Van was holding that kitten by a hand under its rear. Definitely.

For a moment, Van is honestly, genuinely nonplussed. How does one respond to SUDDENLY, FON MASTER?

It's not as though this is some golden opportunity, fallen into his arms, either. He could hold Ion hostage, for old times' sake, but really, what would that accomplish? And besides, there is no us and a lot of them and he is currently putting a lot of thought into reevaluating his immediate priorities.

So, though it pains his hardened, opportunistic, kidnapping heart to do it, he puts the Fon Master down. Awkwardly. So awkwardly.]

Fon Master, I- [...Seriously? Cat ears? Is this a thing here?]

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[Oh. Well in that case, Ion would have most certainly been making this face. Master Badtouch, indeed.]

[The moment he's on the ground, he takes a small step back -- which honestly has little to do with the whole this-is-Van thing and much more to do with the whole most-awkward-embrace thing they were just doing.]

[Honestly. Of all the things he thought could happen with Van here in Luceti, this was definitely not one of them.]

[There's a rather lengthy awkward pause before Ion even tries to say something.]

...h-hello, Van.

[Sob.]

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[IT WAS COMPLETELY AN ACCIDENT.

~~For once.~~

That alarming thing that Van sometimes does, where he just sort of stares at a person; twisted, inscrutable thoughts racing through his head behind those creepy unreadable eyes? It's happening now. Oh, is it ever happening now.]

... You have cat ears. [As a former sufferer of the same, courtesy dictates this be pointed out in the bluntest manner possible.]

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I-- what?

[Ion's expression is pretty much just frozen in shock-mode right now, but his eyes do widen a bit as he reaches up to the top of his head to feel that, Van's right, there are two fuzzy cat ears tucked in with his hair. They even twitch a bit at this realization.]

[His hands lower back to his side. Hopefully Van can't see the tail twitching ever so slightly behind him either.]

I suppose... the malnosso's effects haven't entirely worn off yet...

[gdmit malnosso.]

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[WOULD HE LIE TO-

...

...Would he lie to you about something like-

...

Oh nevermind.]

Is this... the only oddity you're suffering? [Not that Van's sure how he'd tell 'compelled to do the bidding of others' Fon Replica from the regular Fon Replica, but... worth a shot, surely?]

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[Oh come on it's not like Ion's some super nice guy who'll do whatever you ask him to as long as you sound since-- oh. Right.]

I certainly hope so. [Though he wouldn't put it past the Malnosso to make this even worse somehow. Perhaps he shouldn't stick around, just in case things get any worse. Then maybe he can just pretend this didn't happen. He takes another tentative step backwards.]

If you'll excuse me, I really should be going...

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[He's just lucky Van so rarely calls him "Ion." That name belongs to someone else in Van's mind.]

Wait. Fon Master- No, Ion. Don't you think it would be prudent to-

[...Ion is the unluckiest little Fon Replica in the world.]

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[He really is. Really.]

[Just as Ion was about to try turning around and leaving, he hears Van call his name... and then suddenly there is a poof of smoke and oh, now he's falling. He appears back in kitten form a few feet in the air, causing him to sink right to the ground and land in a very non-catlike manner.]

[...o-ow.]

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[Sigh.

Well there's no way Van's taking the Fon Master back to his apartment. The best course of action is probably just to put him back where he found him. Yes.

Which means that unless Ionkitty turns his little tail and runs, he's getting picked up again.]

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[Unfortunately Ion was a little too out of sorts from the fall to try and sprint away in time. And even then, it now like he could make it very far. His little legs can only take him so far, especially when he was already rather tired.]

[So, he's being picked up again. Though there's no flailing this time... he knows it won't do much good, especially when he's more or less at Van's mercy when he's in this form.]

[...this is the worst day.]

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[Van's mercy is... surprisingly tender, actually. He handles the Fon Kitten gently, although nowhere near as nicely as when he thought Ion was just a kitten. It's a detached, perfunctory sort of care.

Van holds him a little differently this time, too, so that Ion can use his lower arm as a perch without falling... and so that any passers-by don't see him with his hand on the bottom of what looks to be a 12 year old girl, should the Fon Master suddenly change back.]

I'm putting you back. [His voice is so low that Ion probably hears the quiet rumble more through his chest than anything else.] Unless you want to show me where you live.

[There is no way anyone from Auldrant is going to willingly show Van where they live and he knows it.]

Edited Date: 2011-10-16 01:25 pm (UTC)

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[Yeah, not even Ion is foolish enough to willingly tell the Commandant where he lives. It could very well put his friends at risk, after all! Especially those of ambiguous morals with a history of working for said Commandant...]

[For now, Ion is absolutely silent and still. He's not quite afraid, just... well, untrusting, to say the least. Van has nothing to gain from hurting Ion right now, and surely if he wanted to, he would have done so already.]

[...though he is probably going to book it the second Van puts him down. Maybe sleep in a bush somewhere hidden and pretend this day just never happened.]

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[It certainly takes Van a lot less time to get back to where he found the Nyan Master than it would take Ion. The joys of having long human legs.

Now that he thinks about it, though, he's been up towards this part of the village with someone from Auldrant before. It was when he followed Dist home. Hm, hm, hm. Time to keep a closer watch on Ion, perhaps; but at his leisure. There's no rush just yet.

Apparently, there's also no rush to put Ion down. Van holds him up again so he can look him sternly in the eye.]

I'm checking back at sunset. If you're still here, I'm taking you. If I were blamed for your getting eaten or trampled or something equally foolish, it would make my life inconvenient.

[Oh, Fon Master. Your subordinates just love and respect you so much.]

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[They really do. Maybe he should start adopting feral lolis and hating the world so he could get some respect like that original of his...]

[But Ion just nods quickly. Tired as he is, he has no intention of waiting around until sunset for Van to come find him again. Sure, it might be of benefit to know where the man is living, but... n-not worth it. Perhaps if he waited under the porch of a nearby house, he could find the time for a quick catnap ~~get it get it cause he's a cat and that's funny~~ before going back to House One.]

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[And he's set down on all four little paws on the side of the road -- the side that house one is on. Go forth, little Nyan Master. Go forth and be ridiculous.]

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